Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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