He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
