Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
