I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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