so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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