Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Oh god it's open bar.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
