He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
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