I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
