Dual....:-)
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
