farters have to be the big spoon...
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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