I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
