i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
