i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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