$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize