so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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