In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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