I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
