How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I touched a dick in church today
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize