Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
