I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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