omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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