Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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