I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
