im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Randomize
