But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
