Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
