So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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