can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
