What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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