Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
