Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
