I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
This is the high leading the old right now
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
