Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
