dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
