Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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