It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
