Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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