i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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