i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
