My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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