he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
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