you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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