so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
