I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
