Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
