Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
