So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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