dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize