sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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