even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize