I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Even my vagina gasped.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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