You're a womanizer and a bitch.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
