i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
