Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
