I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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