Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
