never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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