Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
So much rum. So many feels.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
