also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize