She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
