we're blogging at a bar
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
