Cold hands, warm shart.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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