uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
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