I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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