your room smells of hookers.
And success
You can't special order awesome
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
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