I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize